Blogonicle: Mask of Shite

Mitt pulls a Randal!

2006-08-01T03:58:00.000-04:00

In Clerks II, our hero Randal discovers that the term "porch monkey" is racist, so he decides to use it in non-racist fashion to "take it back".

Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusetts has apparently decided to do the same thing with the obviously racist term "tar baby".

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=150869

I can see the next one already: "I didn't realize the word "nigger" was a racist term. My momma calls people niggers all the time, and she's no racist!" -- George W. Bush

IDIOTS!!!!!!!

This is getting ridiculous . . .

2004-07-28T20:17:00.000-04:00

Quoth The Scotsman:

http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=3259083

Hostages Relatives Threaten to Behead Their Boss

Relatives of two abducted Jordanian drivers threatened today to behead the hostages' boss and kill all of his staff if he does not immediately comply with the kidnappers’ demands and cease operations in Iraq. Fayez Saad al-Udwan and Ahmed Salama Hassan were kidnapped yesterday by a group calling itself the Mujahedeen Corps in Iraq. The group warned they would be killed within 72 hours unless their employer withdrew from Iraq and stopped co-operating with US forces there. The company provides construction and catering services to the US military in Iraq. Al-Udawan’s brother, Omar, said: “We told the firm’s executive director, Rami al-Ouweiss, that if he does not comply with the kidnappers’ demands today, his company and the lives of his employees will not be spared.” Hassan’s father, Salama, said: “We will chop off the head of the firm’s director if he doesn’t heed to our demands to completely cease his operation in Iraq.” The company said it would make an announcement related to its operations in Iraq later in the day.

If they so much as try it, I swear I'll kidnap them all and behead myself!

Fuck you too, Dick!

2004-06-25T21:15:00.000-04:00

Fuck off!

Is it not hypocritical for Dick Cheney to tell people to "fuck off" on the Senate floor while his administration's SS-type FCC fines the crap out of people like Bono and Howard Stern for saying it in less inappropriate places?

I guess maybe he takes his title of "President of Vice" seriously . . .

Digging in the Dirt

2004-06-08T01:43:00.000-04:00

The Theban Mapping Project operates one of my favorite websites at kv5.com. Unfortunately, this amazing website has gone without an update for a year now. I emailed Kent Weeks and company to see what was up. Here's Nicole Hansen's reply:

We were down to a barebones staff due to departures,
leaves of absence, and budget constraints (no
photographer, no database manager, no architect, no
Egyptologist other than myself whose primary
responsiblity is editing, not writing) for most of the
past year and therefore have been unable to do the
work necessary to prepare a new report and site
update. Most work that has happened has also been
offline in nature (preparing a new guidebook to Luxor,
making plans for a visitor's center in the Valley of
the Kings). However, we are starting to staff up again
and work is progressing toward a new site update with
more imagery, a progress report and updated plans of
KV 5. I can't say when exactly but hopefully soon.

Nicole B. Hansen
Egyptologist/Editor
Theban Mapping Project

I guess the stuff is going to be there forever, but that doesn't mean we can take our time. There are environmental, social and political factors that can eventually intervene and wreak havoc with archaeological research. I hope they obtain and maintain better funding so they can continue to dig in the dirt for all of us!

Turn the other cheek?

2004-05-15T00:06:00.000-04:00

You know how some women feel compelled to name their breasts?

Example #1
Example #2 with dirty picture
Example #3

I've been thinking lately maybe I should name my butt cheeks.

They'd have to be guy names. I couldn't spend my day sitting on Mary Kate and Ashley, or Marcia and Jan.

Tommy and Dickie? No that's too likely to cause confusion. Maybe Phil and Don? Jan and Dean? Arnold and Jean Claude?

As you can see, I haven't fully thought this one through yet. I'll keep y'all posted . . .

You can't put anything over on Trent Franks

2004-05-12T23:13:00.000-04:00

Representative Trent Franks, Republican of Arizona and a member of the House Armed Services Committee, said he was particularly offended by a photograph in which "a prisoner was sodomizing himself," with a banana. "My conclusion is that that was probably coerced somehow," Mr. Franks said.

Yep, he's a sharp one, that Rep. Franks . . .

Sleep

2004-05-12T02:55:00.000-04:00

None for the weary. I saw a guy get his head sawed off tonight as he screamed. The video was out of synch, so I couldn't tell at which point his screams stopped. Was it when his trachea was severed, or did they get his spinal cord first? There were gurgles at some point. Anybody who is able to behead a conscious, screaming human up close and personal with a short knife is way ill.

I need sleep.