Blogonicle: Mask of Shite

You know how some women feel compelled to name their breasts?

Example #1
Example #2 with dirty picture
Example #3

I've been thinking lately maybe I should name my butt cheeks.

They'd have to be guy names. I couldn't spend my day sitting on Mary Kate and Ashley, or Marcia and Jan.

Tommy and Dickie? No that's too likely to cause confusion. Maybe Phil and Don? Jan and Dean? Arnold and Jean Claude?

As you can see, I haven't fully thought this one through yet. I'll keep y'all posted . . .

Representative Trent Franks, Republican of Arizona and a member of the House Armed Services Committee, said he was particularly offended by a photograph in which "a prisoner was sodomizing himself," with a banana. "My conclusion is that that was probably coerced somehow," Mr. Franks said.

Yep, he's a sharp one, that Rep. Franks . . .

None for the weary. I saw a guy get his head sawed off tonight as he screamed. The video was out of synch, so I couldn't tell at which point his screams stopped. Was it when his trachea was severed, or did they get his spinal cord first? There were gurgles at some point. Anybody who is able to behead a conscious, screaming human up close and personal with a short knife is way ill.

I need sleep.